Hello my lovely readers! This week has been incredibly busy for me so I’m going to try to make this tale as brief as possible.
Twelve long years ago I embarked on a journey called the first grade. This turned out to be one of the worst years of my life because I suffered greatly from a disease known as “Momma’s Boy Syndrome”. Every day during lunch I would cry because I wasn’t at home baking cookies or pretending I had won Miss America with my mother. To add to my daily depression, I also suffered from another common disease: ”No One Wants To Be Your Friend Syndrome”. I was an outcast because as soon as I became close friends with someone, I would tell them “I want to be a girl!”.
One wintery Minnesota day during recess, my “friends” (I am pretty sure they called me “It”) and I decided to make a snow fort. They each took turns crawling through the frigid snow sculpture as I watched in admiration. Finally I gained the courage to ask the most popular girl, Susie Quinlan (yes we called her Susie Q), if I could take part in their seemingly lighthearted and safe game. It should be noted that I was wearing an enormous, red, winter jacket. Thanks, Mom.
I nervously made my way through the snow fort until disaster struck. I was stuck. As the gathered children giggled, I cried. Soon after, the school bell rang signifying the end of recess. Everyone else ran inside, leaving me in the snow. Alone. Thirty minutes passed before teachers noticed I was not present in class. I remained outside, frozen in solitude, until adults came and rescued me from my predicament.
And that my children, is why you should always be wary of snow forts. Especially if your mother makes you wear puffy jackets.
